Most couples these days have been living together for a while, and therefore have everything they want. They simply do not need another kettle or toaster. This makes it difficult to buy for people and as a result, causes a lot of stress in the busy lives of the guests. Its also virtually ensures that the bride and groom get a load of presents they do not need.
The truth is that most couples would prefer a cash gift. That way they can spend it on what they want, which may include spending it on paying off the debt of the wedding. It is a strange situation, where many guest feel bad about giving money and many couples feel bad about asking for it.
The guests feel bad about it because they feel like they are putting no thought and effort into the gift, and they do not want the bride and groom to know that. Because of this, a lot of guests will be giving vouchers. Vouchers are pointless, it is the same as giving money except the bride and groom are restricted, as to where they can spend it. Money is the best voucher. It is also worth noting that some stores deduct a particular amount of money from the voucher for every year you do not spend it. Obviously although money depreciates due to inflation, it is no where near as severe and because you can spend money on anything it is not an issue.
The bride and groom feel bad asking for money, because they feel like they are putting people under pressure to give and they feel like they are gold diggers. The truth is it is much more convenient for everyone to give money. This is very normal in some cultures like Italy. Here in the UK however, people feel a lot more uncomfortable.
Some people recommend writing a humorous gift poem to soften the blow, and in it they ask for money. In this poem you can explain the obvious, the fact that you have been living together for years already, and therefore do not need anything for in the house. If this can be done well, it can certainly highlight that money is better for you and can diffuse the embarrassment for both sides.
Another idea is to get a family member like your mum or dad, to gently explain to people that money would be much better for you. It takes the embarrassment from you and transfers it to the parents, who are just trying to help their children and the guests out with this sensitive dilemma.
In conclusion this is a tricky situation. Keep quiet on the matter and you will end up with five toasters and six kettles. Be too abrupt, and you might upset the guests. Approach the situation with some creativity and sensitivity and hopefully the bride and groom will get what they want, and the guest will save their time in buying a gift, and will also know that what they have bought the couple actually want.
Pre Wedding Jitters
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